Mai 'too shoujo to give a fuck' aka the protag (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
upcard) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synopsychic2014-12-16 02:10 pm
upcard) wrote in synopsychic2014-12-16 02:10 pm
Entry tags:
✿ Investigating time
[The voice that prods at everyone is so quiet and tentative, it's probably pretty easily ignored, even despite being a voice in everyone's heads. Mai's just that bad at this psychic network thing.
She's trying, though.]
U-um... excuse me, everyone... Er, everyone that can hear me...
[focus, Mai]
I-it's just...does anyone know what we're supposed to be doing? I mean, everyone's wearing such spectacular masks and costumes, but... it's a little lonely...not being able to tell who everyone is...
[You're rambling, Mai.]
Ah! I don't want to take up too much of your time, everyone...I was just wondering... and if there's anything I can do, I definitely want to do my best...! Is it important to figure out who's who...?
...Thank you...for listening.
[She just feels a little alone, with everyone masked and hidden as they are.
ooc: this is a totally open psychic network post, feel free to use it to communicate about identities or what-have-you!]
She's trying, though.]
U-um... excuse me, everyone... Er, everyone that can hear me...
[focus, Mai]
I-it's just...does anyone know what we're supposed to be doing? I mean, everyone's wearing such spectacular masks and costumes, but... it's a little lonely...not being able to tell who everyone is...
[You're rambling, Mai.]
Ah! I don't want to take up too much of your time, everyone...I was just wondering... and if there's anything I can do, I definitely want to do my best...! Is it important to figure out who's who...?
...Thank you...for listening.
[She just feels a little alone, with everyone masked and hidden as they are.
ooc: this is a totally open psychic network post, feel free to use it to communicate about identities or what-have-you!]
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[It almost sounds dismissive, but the point he's trying to make is that it's simpler than she thinks. He attempts to elaborate:]
...experience is not so difficult to gain, so long as you try. Even this is a learning experience.
[For him just as much as her, honestly.]
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[Just when you think she might've finally understood him--]
After all, Saitou-san comes across like a veteran too, but you haven't been here as long...!
[point
Mai's head.]
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He can fix this. May... be...?!]
...that is only because I have had practice. Even before coming here, there have been multiple occasions in which I have had to lie and pretend to be someone else. That, however, is the only advantage I have over you. This place is just as unfamiliar to me as it is to you.
[In other words, he knew how to lie, and he knew how to lie about lying—that was really the only difference.]
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Eh...? You had to pretend to be someone else, Saitou-san?
[She admittedly doesn't remember her history well, but she didn't realize that was a thing in ye olden days.]
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[That probably makes it sound nicer than it actually is. It wasn't always as simple as collecting information—he was deceiving people, betraying them.]
It's very similar to what we do here.
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What she picked up out of that was--]
O-oh...! I...think I understand a little. Saitou-san was too well-known, so everyone would know who you are... That's amazing!
[probably not quite what he meant]
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(But he doesn't blame her for this. It's his own fault, probably. He never was very good at communication, after all... It was only natural that he would be misunderstood.)
Oh well. He just nods in agreement with her understanding of the situation.]
...right. So if my duties required me to lie, then I would lie. [He makes a small gesture, motioning toward the other people in the room.] Much like when we run into natives of the places we visit, or when our comrades are... not themselves. For me, the only difference is our location.
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...Oh... you had to be an Infiltrator back home, too...?
[She pauses, a little awkwardly, considering everything Saitou has told her. He has friends, companions, people he trusts, but if he was infiltrating, lying and hiding his identity, was he able to be with them?
As per usual, things like the fact that he was lying don't come across to her as the most important thing. Rather, that's--]
That sounds...a little lonely... was that really okay? [For Saitou?]
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But Saitou gives Mai the same answer he'd given Chizuru.]
Whether it is or not is irrelevant. What matters is that I do what needs to be done.
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[Still, even with Saitou saying it so firmly, she's not sure... it still sounds so lonely to her. So a moment later, she takes a slow breath, nodding. She's still out of place here, and she's still lost and confused a lot of the time, but--]
Then...I'll just try to make sure I'm close by when Saitou-san is being brave like that. Then...then you definitely won't have to be lonely...!
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Saitou didn't consider himself a lonely person at all—maybe during missions back home and certain jaunts here, it was lonely, but it was only ever temporary. Just knowing that his friends would be there when it was all over was more than enough for him. He had people to come home to, and that was enough.
Maybe that's why his feelings are mixed. He knows that she is earnest, and he would be lying if he said that he didn't like having people he cared about close by, but he didn't think those temporary bouts of loneliness were worth fussing over. It was worth it if it meant everyone (both people he knew and people he didn't) would be safe in the long run.
Not to mention...]
You realize that it could be dangerous, correct?
[Most people would probably just accept it, but not Saitou. The thought was nice but he did things the way he did for a reason. If she didn't know that, then she needed to.]
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But no, in all actuality, those words don't frighten her at all. She does pause, as if to consider those words and how to respond, but she always knew that nothing would dissuade her. Slowly, she takes a deep breath, and then--]
I know that... but... everything here is a little dangerous. [Danger is what they have to deal with--it's just not fair that Saitou feels the need to deal with it alone.]
I, um, I know I'm not really that much help, but...! But I don't think you should have to do it all by yourself...
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And he can't say that there's no value in having someone familiar close by, either, because that would be a lie. It was something he could live without, but that doesn't mean he didn't appreciate it. (Especially lately, with all that he knew about his friends now. In fact, he was finding it more and more important to— well, value them. To be with them.) But despite that...]
...I do not wish to make things unnecessarily difficult for you.
[Troubling herself for him—he doesn't want that. She shouldn't have to get involved in things just for his sake.]
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[she's bemused by that, and it shows on her face. Difficult for her...? That's too considerate, Saitou, nobody's ever said that to her out of her own love interests! So she smiles a moment later, touched, and shakes her head.]
That's okay, Saitou-san! I don't mind if it's any trouble, so long as it isn't trouble for you...
[#otome protag priorities]
Besides... you're always helping me like this, so... so I want to help too!
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Maybe he's just not used to it? It was a pretty thankless job that he did, after all. But then again, maybe it's just because he saw himself more as a weapon than a person. He was like a means to an end more than anything.
Either way, he's not going to argue it anymore. If she understood that it was dangerous and didn't care... well, what was he supposed to do? In the end, whatever she chose to do wasn't really his concern, even if she did think it was for his benefit.]
...I see. Then you may do as you wish.